Mini Mini Reviews #2

“The Omega Man” (1971) – More or less, it’s a lame version of “The Last Man on Earth,” that exchanges all of its subtlety and tension for over the top goofiness and really poor effects. Grade: D+

“Moonstruck” (1987) – A very heartwarming romance with one of the more honest performances out of Nicholas Cage, while also proving how multi-talented Cher can be. Grade: B

“Cleopatra” (1963) – This should be the dictionary definition of extravagant and box office failure. The history behind “Cleopatra” is far more interesting than the movie itself, though that might be due to the four-and-a-half hour runtime. I wouldn’t have nearly as much problems with the film if it wasn’t the longest film I’ve ever watched and nothing about the film justifies that runtime. Grade: C

“The Death of Stalin” (2017) – A nice palette cleanser after “Cleopatra,” “The Death of Stalin” feels like the Russian equivalent of “Dr. Strangelove” focusing on incompetent idiots having to deal with problems they were never prepared for. Great dialogue, wonderful performances, and a hilarious pace that never lets up. Grade: B+

“Cornered” (1945) – A man travels to Argentina to find the Nazi who killed his wife, and the film utlimately becomes more about stopping that same Nazi from controlling some crime syndicate or something. It started out great and Dick Powell’s performance really captures the grief and pain he’s going through, but somewhere along the way the film loses its focus. Grade: C+

“Scoob!” (2020) – One of the best children’s movies in the last year, “Scoob!” is colorful, funny, loyal to the source material, and most importantly, fun. It takes Scooby-Doo to a more personal level than he’s ever been while still having a great sense of humor about it all. The opening is touching and the ensuing sequence where they remake one of the classic Scooby-Doo moments is great to see. Even though it’s aimed for little kids, there’s enough here for older fans of Scooby to enjoy this movie. Grade: B

“A Ghost Story” (2017) – Is it cliche to call this film haunting? One benefit I’ll give “A Ghost Story” is that, in the case of other thought-provoking indie films like “Under the Skin” I’d normally be bored out of my mind with so little happening in the film and even less pontificating. And while there are some annoyingly slow or nonsensical moments in “A Ghost Story,” the film really does drive home how distant, cold and worrisome death can be. It certainly has some bizarre artistic choices, but those choices do lead to a point that makes the whole piece worth it. Grade: C+

“Candyman” (1992) – This is a supernatural horror film way ahead of its time. Much like “The Twilight Zone,” “Candyman” uses myths and legends to talk about issues that plague society, and especially societies that often get unheard, especially in the 1990s. Wonderful writing, spectacular performances, some impressive cinematography, and horrifying effects, this one shows why the myth of Candyman has stuck with us for so long. Grade: A-

“I am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang” (1932) – For 1932, this film is as politically charged and controversial as Hollywood could be, taking a long, hard look at the dehumanization of the criminal justice system and how it defines those who have been in it. This film is brutally honest and horrifying for its time, but surprisingly thrilling, especially due to Paul Muni’s gripping performance as a man caught up in the mechanisms of a corrupt and petty form of justice, and how that changes him from the inside out. Grade: A+

“Horse Feathers” (1932) – Not the best Marx brothers comedy, but this one is certainly worth watching if only for the climatic football game where the brothers go all out. At times, it feels like a cartoon in how energetic and absurd they get. Grade: C+

“Gattaca” (1997) – A thought-provoking piece of speculative fiction, “Gattaca” explores every aspect of how humanity would change if we went all in on the genetic manipulation, both the good and the bad, especially how that would make the best of us possible but also create a new form of descrimination against those who didn’t have their genetics changed. It’s an effective triumphant story, sold by Ethan Hawke’s emotional performance, with some eye-opening world building. Grade: B+

“The Yearling” (1946) – This is your standard, run-of-the-mill boy and his dog story, except that it’s a baby deer instead of a dog, complete with a coming-of-age story about the boy fighting for his home and growing up a little faster than expected. The best part is certainly the boy’s father, played by Gregory Peck, who has the same likable charm we’ve come to admire from him in works like “To Kill A Mockingbird” and “Roman Holiday.” Grade: C

“Murder by Contract” (1958) – This is a barebones film noir about a hitman with a strict code that he adheres to, with a strange sense of superiority that gives him a rather cool edge. Aside from a memorable soundtrack and the coolness of the main character, this is your basic film noir. Grade: C+

“Da 5 Bloods” (2020) – Describing “Da 5 Bloods” as a strange mix of “Do the Right Thing,” “Apocalypse Now” and “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre” would not do this film justice. Much like all of Spike Lee’s best work, this film captures a great pain that is timeless in its relevance, in this case the mistreatment of black soldiers during the Vietnam War and how situations have not improved much since then. Most of this is sold through the tortured performance of Delroy Lindo, a man teetering on the edge of clarity and insanity, and a brilliant fusion of Fred C. Dobbs and Colonel Kurtz. It is eye-opening, impactful, thrilling, visually stunning, and it is Spike Lee in his element. Grade: A

“Underworld U.S.A.” (1961) – If “Mildred Pierce” is the perfect Mother’s Day film noir, then “Underworld U.S.A.” is the perfect Father’s Day noir, about how far one man will go to avenge his old man. What really hits home is that, while we never get to see the father alive, we see just how much he impacts our protagonist (Cliff Robertson) in his day-to-day life, making this a tribute to how much a father influences his son’s life in invisible ways. Grade: B

“San Francisco” (1936) – Aside from the spectacularly executed earthquake special effects and model use that followed that scene, nothing too extraordinary about “San Francisco.” Other than wanting to slap Clark Cable for being the most insensitive, smug, selfish prick on the planet, and that apparently D.W. Griffith co-directed it, which would probably explain why the film wants us to sympathize with the most unlikable man on the planet. Grade: C

“Tokyo Godfathers” (2003) – “San Francisco” could have learned a thing or two from this movie about taking characters that should be unlikable or despised and giving them dimensions, trauma and redemption. Everything about this movie flows together so perfectly, especially the broken homeless family healing each other through actions even they didn’t know they had in themselves. Grade: A-

“A Matter of Life and Death” (1946) – The best way I can describe “A Matter of Life and Death” is as a reverse “Wizard of Oz,” where real life is filled with bright technicolor and new opportunities to explore and love, and the fantastical is shot in black-and-white and is shown to be a dreary, monotonous bureaucracy. If you enjoy “Wizard of Oz,” you should definitely give this one a try. Grade: A-

“The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner” (1962) – Certainly the most angsty, rebellious British film I’ve ever seen. It shows a darker, more honest look at the impoverished side of Britain and the hardships that those people carry. Grade: C+

“I was a Male War Bride” (1949) – One of the better examples of a love-hate relationship I’ve seen in Hollywood movies, where both partners (played by Cary Grant and Ann Sheridan) constantly try to one-up each other in the most showoff-y way possible, which gets on the other’s nerves, while always going out of their way to help the other whenever possible. It is odd that the titular plot of the film, about Cary Grant having to pose as a war bride, only comes in the last 40 minutes, but this light screwball comedy still works throughout. Grade: B

“Chariots of Fire” (1981) – On the complete opposite end of the spectrum from “Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner,” this film is all about proper Englishmen and devotion to that prim and elegant lifestyle above all else. Still, the most interesting thing about “Chariots of Fire” was the soundtrack, mostly because the electronic 80s music feels so strange when used for a film set in the 1920s. Grade: B-

“Earth vs. the Flying Saucers” (1956) – What pushes this film above other 1950s sci-fi movies is a few things. Ray Harryhausen’s effects work on the flying saucers breathes new life into something we often take for granted now, the final battle on Washington D.C. still holds up surprisingly well, especially when combined with other effects that aren’t stop motion, and the romance between the two leads (Hugh Marlowe and Joan Taylor) is charming and never overbearing, making the two leads some of the more likable protagonists in any 1950s sci-fi movie. Grade: B

“The 7th Voyage of Sinbad” (1958) – Going in, I thought the only thing of note was going to be Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion effects, but there are a few other stand out things about this epic fantasy. Namely, Bernard Herrmann’s score is as good as any of his music for Hitchcock’s films, atmospheric and adds a new sense of scope to the many monsters Sinbad must defeat. Still, the Harryhausen’s effects steal the show and take on a life of their own, especially with so many different monsters here, such as a two-headed bird, multiple cyclops, a swash-buckling skeleton, and a fire-breathing dragon. Grade: B

“OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies” (2006) – To be a truly great parody, you have to love what you’re parodying. “Cairo, Nest of Spies” might be the best parody since “Airplane!” because it doesn’t just nail the aesthetic, camera techniques, green screen effects and fight choreography of the James Bond movies, but the views and attitudes of the time period too, putting Bond’s gross misogynistic and insensitive views on full display to show just how out of date they are, without having the dimwitted, backwards spy who doesn’t know any better come across as unlikable. This spy parody blows all of the Austin Powers movies out of the water. Grade: A

Mini-Mini Movie Reviews

I picked a weird time to stop reviewing films. Apparently when this website stops publishing, a pandemic begins.

Over the last two months of silence, I’ve taken on some new responsibilities that have kept me away from film reviews, mostly a new job that allows me to work from home. And while I’ve been focusing all of my attention on that job, that didn’t stop me from watching the occasional film, including over 20 films I’d never seen before.

And while I don’t quite have the time to write full length reviews on all of them (including some that I watched over two months ago), I do feel like I should give my thoughts on all of them, even if it’s just one sentence on each. So I’m going to try something new by offering you some mini-mini-reviews. I’ll try not to make this a regular thing, but can’t make any promises.

“Paprika” (2006) – Imagine if “Inception” was animated by Miyazaki and was more of a psychological thriller about making literal dreams into reality, and throw in some anime insanity and you’ve got “Paprika.” Grade: B+

“Falling Down” (1993) – All it takes is one really bad day for some people to snap, and “Falling Down” pushes the envelope of how one man going on a rampage against the society could be any of us, pulled together by an off-the-wall performance from Michael Douglas. Grade: B+

“Crime Wave” (1954) – “What do you want? Christmas every day?” is one of the greatest and most quotable movie lines that no one talks about. Grade: B-

“Red Dragon” (2002) – A much scarier depiction of Hannibal Lecter than “Silence of the Lambs,” while never shying away from what makes him such a likable villain in the first place. Grade: B

“Monkey Business” (1931) – Aside from “Duck Soup,” this might be the best Marx Brothers film, with many memorable slapstick moments and gags that play so well with everyone stuck on a cruise ship. Grade: B



“Sanjuro” (1962) – Not the best Kurosawa film, and certainly a downgrade from its predecessor, “Yojimbo,” but it is serviceable as a lighthearted period piece about rival feudal gangs trying to seize power. Grade: C+

“Address Unknown” (1944) – If the Twilight Zone had been made in the 1940s, I could see the plot of this movie being an episode – how, with the right motivation, anyone could have been convinced to see the same views as the Nazis. Doesn’t work as well today, but at least it was killer cinematography. Grade: B

“Your Name” (2016) – This one gets confusing, going from a lighthearted comedy about supposedly random body swapping to a convoluted tale about time travel and spirituality. Beautifully animated and the characters are quite likable, just don’t think about it too hard. Grade: B

“Beyond a Reasonable Doubt” (1956) – One of the most twist-and-turn filled film noirs I’ve ever seen, this one constantly kept me on my toes, having you love and hate pretty much every single character. Grade: B+

“Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance” (1972) – Far more violent than I ever expected it to be and filled with a lot of odd creative choices that had me scratching my head. Grade: C-

“Night and the City” (1950) – The main character is one of the most detestable, loathsome people I’ve ever seen in a movie, and yet is somehow quite charming in his passion and enthusiasm, so convinced of himself that you can’t help but love him. One of the strangest but most watchable dynamics of any film noir. Grade: B+

“Collateral” (2004) – One of the more effective thrillers in recent memory, with a brilliant cast, a sharp script that hits every moment perfectly with its atmosphere, and never a dull moment. Grade: A

“Exorcist III: Legion” (1990) – The most underrated psychological horror film ever made, “Exorcist III” even surpasses the original “Exorcist” in many ways, with a wonderful crime piece that’ll keep you guessing, pitch perfect atmosphere, scares that are worth it every time and some wonderfully creepy acting from Brad Dourif, who could be the villain in every movie ever and I wouldn’t complain. Grade: A-

“Wicked Woman” (1953) – The most memorable part of this film noir is the opening theme song, performed by a guy who sounds like he’s melting. Grade: C+

“Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” (1953) – One of the best performances from Marilyn Monroe and one that perfectly blends music and comedy, only being outclassed by “Singin’ In the Rain” in that category. Grade: A-

“The Candidate” (1972) – I feel like this one was building up towards its final moments, where the whole picture becomes clear as a farce about people wanting to be politicians for power and fame and nothing else. Other than that, quite forgettable. Grade: C

“Victor/Victoria” (1982) – This one was a lot funnier than I thought it would be, though I should have expected as much when it was made by the same guy who directed “The Great Race.” Lots of great moments for Julie Andrews and Robert Preston. Grade: B

“Superfly” (1972) – “I’m Your Pusherman” is a surprisingly addictive song that this movie loved to death. Grade: B-

“Fallen Angel” (1945) – It makes for a fascinating companion piece with “Beyond a Reasonable Doubt,” as both are about Dana Andrews being convicted with a crime they may or may not have committed, while someone else may be pulling the strings of the crime. Grade: B-

“Dark City” (1998) – Perfectly blends together film noir and science fiction without ever feeling overwhelming, with some wonderful production design of philosophical questions that were better addressed in this movie than they were in “The Matrix.” Grade: B+

“Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx” (1972) – Now this was more like it – still ultraviolent, but puts that violence to good use without ever coming across as grotesque or raunchy. Just a good ol’ samurai facing impossible odds and that’s really all I asked for. Grade: B-

“42nd Street” (1933) – Back when musicals were more of a spectacle than a story, “42nd Street” stands out for its elaborate dance numbers, unique cinematography and fun songs. I can see why this is often regarded as the first really great musical. Grade: C

“7 Faces of Dr. Lao” (1964) – You know, I could get behind the whole mystery comedy aspect of the movie with a mysterious stranger coming to town and using his powers to make everyone’s lives better, but then they had to make almost half of the film a western about land disputes and fighting the old west with newspapers. You know your movie is strange when the western aspects are weirder than one guy playing seven different roles, including Medusa, Pan and a talking clay-mation snake. Grade: C+

“The Crimson Kimono” (1959) – A surprisingly progressive film for its time, setting the tone for the buddy cop genre that would come 30 years later and discuss the trouble that come with interracial couples a decade before “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner” would do the same thing. Still, it’s more of a police procedural than a film noir with some bold editing and camera techniques that makes this stand out from all the other films during this time period. Grade: B-

Top Ten Favorite Films in My Lifetime

Today marks my thirtieth birthday, a day that I've been giving a lot of thought for quite some time. Despite my youth supposedly coming to an end as I make the march towards middle-age, I can't help but feel young. Maybe it's because I live my life without regrets, or because I always do everything in my power to make the most out of each day, but I'm at the point in my life where age is a good thing, like I'm maturing like wine.

But I certainly feel like part of this perspective comes from watching movies and gaining new perspectives on life and myself through a camera lens. Cinema has played a massive role in my life so it's only fitting that I take a look at some of the films that have come along since I've been alive. This works out almost perfectly to encompass three decades of cinema (1990s, 2000s and 2010s). With so many films that have left an indelible impact on me as a person to choose from, I've decided to keep this to just my personal favorite ten that have left the biggest marks on me, the ones that I'll always come back to and remind me of what it was like when I was thirty.

Number Ten - "Adaptation." (2002)

It pains me to admit that I've rarely talked about how brilliant "Adaptation." is on so many different levels and how it perfectly captures the crisis that comes with creativity. The film is a biopic about its own writer, Charlie Kaufman, going through the most difficult experience of his life as he attempts to adapt an unadaptable book and to make a story where there is no story, and the story he creates is him trying desperately to create a story about the book he's trying to adapt. No one could ever attempt something like this besides Kaufman, and it's brought to screen with that same love for passion, uniqueness and originality through the confused and fun performances of Nicholas Cage and Meryl Streep. It is the prime film example of life imitating art imitating life imitating art that still blows my mind just thinking about how everything comes together.

Number Nine - "Goodfellas" (1990)

Gangster films are the ultimate tragedies, with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Martin Scorsese has always excelled at making those highs as enthralling and mouth-watering as possible, like being a gangster is the greatest thing in the world, while never detaching itself from reality so far as to sympathize with these criminals so that there ultimate fall hits even harder when they do crash back to our reality. "Goodfellas" is the greatest gangster film of all time because that power is lavishly explored through multiple decades of long takes and loving narration. At times, it almost feels like we're watching aliens with no empathy or understanding of humans other than greed and power, especially Joe Pesci's foul-mouthed trigger-happy gangster that only loves his mother, which only makes the more human moments of realization and betrayal stand out so much more.

Number Eight - "her" (2013)

More than anything else, I adore "her"'s depiction of the future. Sterile, but imaginative. It is distant enough from our own world to wonder how we got here, while still innovative enough to create a fun world with endless possibilities. In a time where every depiction of the future is grim and desolate, "her" is a shining example of how A.I. can be just as witty and passionate as us. It is comforting without every losing its joy for life, showing our evolution as a charismatic love to learn more about ourselves, captured perfectly through the love between a man and an A.I.

Nubmer Seven - "Shin Godzilla" (2016)

I couldn't help myself, this is everything I wanted in a modern-age Godzilla movie. The monster is not only terrifying, imposing and captured in the best possible light, but the worlds' governments react with the chaos and confusion that would come with a giant monster rising from the ocean. It is both parts political thriller and kaiju film, bolstered even further with its sense of national identity so that it's not just a few stuffy politicians reacting to Godzilla, but all of Japan. Even if it didn't have loads of call backs to the Showa series through its music and sound effects, "Shin Godzilla" would still be the best monster movie in the last decade because of its love of monsters and the modern bureaucratic response to such an abomination of life.

 

Number Six - "The Lego Movie" (2014)

Who would have thought a brand-name movie about yellow bricks would hit me this hard? I can't think of another movie that makes me feel like a kid again quite like "The Lego Movie." It is one of the most creative, witty and bizarre movies I've ever seen, but then again you have to be to have your main characters be Batman, a pirate, an astronaut and a cat-unicorn-hybrid while fighting Will Ferrell. Just thinking about how everything unfolds so perfectly makes me giddy, while the comedy still makes me laugh to this day. Everything about this movie still feels fresh, certainly helped by the unique look and design that makes "The Lego Movie" timeless and forever relevant, especially with that twist ending.

Number Five - "Nightcrawler" (2014)

As time has passed, I've fallen in love with the brutal honest of "Nightcrawler"'s depiction of success. Where "Adaptation." was hopeful and passionate, "Nightcrawler" is desensitized to the American Dream, where success only comes to those who want it hard enough, especially in an endangered profession that is journalism. The film is often disturbing, but always rings true to its message of how "Man Bites Dog" is a far more alluring headline than "Dog bites Man." Jake Gyllenhaal has never been as commanding or sinister as he was in "Nightcrawler," always coming across as a man who'd do whatever it takes to succeed in a world that does not care for him.

Number Four - "Ed Wood" (1994)

On the opposite end of the spectrum from "Nightcrawler," we have "Ed Wood," the greatest film about filmmaking. There's a contagious love for life and movies throughout, all perfectly captured in Johnny Depp's charismatic performance as Edward D. Wood Jr., a man so blinded by the spectacle of cinema that he thought it (and he) could do no wrong. Yet beyond a love for movies, there's a genuine optimism that permeates through Depp and Martin Landau's role, both making the most of the time and opportunities they have, a passion that all artists can truly appreciate. It speaks to me, not just as a love letter to one of the best worst filmmakers of all time, but also of how to face the challenges that come with any passion - with an open-mind and a kind heart.

Number Three - "Fargo" (1996)

If I could have, these last three films would all be tied for first place. They are not just perfect movies, but timeless classics with characters that have helped shape my own personality. Take for example, Marge Gunderson from "Fargo," the contemplative, curious, feisty cop who will stop at nothing to make a better world for her child, even if it means copious amounts of fast food and a cute Minnesotan accent. The framing of Marge within the world of "Fargo," filled with greedy, ugly, weak men clawing for something they can call their own and watching them fail due to their own incompetence, makes Marge and her husband sharing little moments of love and affection the most heart-warming and uplifting experience in the last twenty years. The balance of dark comedy, authentic Minnesota charm and Marge's determination despite everything going against her makes "Fargo" not only the Coen brothers' best film, but one of the best films of the last few decades.

Number Two - "The Shape of Water" (2017)

When I think of fantasy, "The Shape of Water" is now the first thing that comes to mind. It is filled with wonder and awe, without ever losing an ounce of humanity, taking the good people with the bad people. It makes the more fantastical moments far more breath-taking, and the moments of quiet realization and love so much more touching, while the angry outbursts of men losing control over something they never had so much more satisfying. It certainly helps that this film boasts the best performance of the decade with Sally Hawkins giving the most raw, passion performance without hardly uttering a word. Guillermo del Toro's sympathetic re-imagining of "The Creature from the Black Lagoon," has a tremendous love for the beauty of life that is hard not to love every affection moment of this wonderful fantasy.

Number One - "WALL-E" (2008)

"WALL-E" is one of the best examples of science fiction, a quiet, contemplative look at where mankind's over-reliance on our tools would eventually take us and how much our own tools would start to mimic us. Some will see this as Pixar's cute take on sci-fi, but I see it as their masterpiece, a visually breath-taking film with a joy for life, all while the silence is even more powerful than words could ever be. Not a single moment is wasted in "WALL-E," whether its exploring a world filled with trash as a single robot tries to find meaning to it all, creating a wonderful companionship between its two robot leads that becomes (oddly enough) the emotional core of the film, showcasing the vast beauty of the universe, or building off the themes of "2001: A Space Odyssey" in the most touching way. I love everything about this movie, and it only gets better every time I watch it.

Movie Review - "Legend of the Drunken Master" (1994)

I can't think of a better movie that symbolizes the fun, intensity and zaniness of kung fu movies than "Legend of the Drunken Master." Jackie Chan perfectly captures this through his wide-eyed innocence, his Buster Keaton-like stunts, undeniably charisma and martial arts skills that never get old. Any one of these qualities would make a great action star, but Jackie being able to balance all of these like holding a tea set while fighting off a dozen men.

It also helps that "Legend of the Drunken Master" is the perfect mix of action and comedy, where each makes the other better. There has never been an action comedy with action sequences as well choreographed or intense as here, nor has there been an action comedy where the comedy is strengthed by the action as well as it does with this highwater mark of Jackie Chan's career. This makes "Legend of the Drunken Master" a perfect storm of its genre, one that fully embraces the absurdity while never backing down from intense action sequences.

Final Grade: A 

Movie Review - "A League of Their Own" (1992)

"A League of Their Own" follows in the footsteps of other baseball movies such as "Field of Dreams" and "Pride of the Yankees" by showing a level of admiration and respect for a game that has such a long and legendary history. The past and its impact on the present is never understated, uncovering a piece of history that would otherwise be overlooked with an undeniable fondness. In this case, the formation of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League during World War II to keep the homefront interested in baseball. But rather than dwell on the sexism at play or the hardships the players faced through the uniforms they were forced to wear or the random catcalls, they protray these women soaking up every moment they have in spotlight, and playing the game that they love.

Every actress is having a blast in these roles, especially Geena Davis, Lori Petty and Rosie O'Donnell who wear their scars and scraps proudly while playing to the crowd. It certainly helps that Tom Hanks turns in yet another captivating performance as the alcoholic and loud-mouthed Jimmy Dugan, nailing the perfect middle ground between refusing to help those who aren't "ballplayers" and a genuine love for the game. And that love for baseball is what drives this movie from being a generic fluff into an entertaining ride from start to finish. "A League of Their Own" might not have anything important to say, but it admirably captures a point in history that would otherwise be ignored with such sentiment that it's hard not to love the ride.

Final Grade: B+

Movie Review - "The Hunt for Red October" (1990)

"The Hunt for Red October" felt like the beginning of a theme park attraction, rather than an actual movie. There's a lot of buildup, political and ethical boundaries crossed and a big leap in technology that could make for a visual spectacale if you were on the vehicle in question. But the characters are so underdevloped and played to their simplest function, even for Sean Connery's Russian captain and Alec Baldwin's energetic Jack Ryan, that they could have been anybody. Even the suspense of the silent submarine duels doesn't start reaching its tipping point until halfway through the third act, far too late to make up for the slow buildup. If I were actually in the center of the action on a theme park ride, stuck on a doomed submarine with little chance to escape aside from an expert captain, then this would be amazing. But as a movie that continually cuts around and plays with perspective like its going out of style, "The Hunt for Red October" is just a simple, sometimes effective, submarine thriller.

Final Grade: C+

Movie Review - "The Player" (1992)

I think it's safe to say that most films that attempt to deconstruct Hollywood and show its dark side to audiences owe everything to Robert Altman's "The Player," a film about a failing Hollywood studio executive (Tim Robbins) who keeps receiving death threats from someone he wronged a long time ago. While this film boasts one of the largest cast of celebrities ever assemeled, all because every one of these stars wanted to work with Altman, the true star here is the gripping screenplay. What could have been a lackluster thriller turned comedy set in Hollywood instead becomes an examination of Hollywood's own ego and the many moving pieces in that machine and we get to see how each of those pieces tick. From the marvelous opening tracking shot, showcasing a day in the life of this frustrated, bored executive, to the ending that brings everything together, there isn't a single dull moment from this Altman masterpiece.

Final Grade: A

Movie Review - "Apollo 13" (1995)

Picture yourself in the year 1970 - The space race is over and we've already successfully landed on the moon twice. John F. Kennedy's goal of, not only putting a man into space, but on the moon, has been achieved and then some. So when NASA tries to do it again, why would we care? No one remembers the third ship to discover America. But suddenly, all of that goes out the window when tragedy strikes - there's been an explosion onboard the space craft and the astronauts are running out of air.

The events of Apollo 13 were the antithesis of the initial moon landing, when triumph and excitement was replaced with fear and hopelessness. Instead of the world coming together to celebrate, we came together to pray and hope that our fellow men returned home safely.

I feel like this is the driving force behind Ron Howard's film version of "Apollo 13," how it was a reflection of the society at the time and showed our strength in a moment of absolute terror. For all of its amazing technological achievements, especially making it look like most of the film takes place in zero gravity, the most effective moments in this film are on Earth, dealing with the very human and fragile reactions to this tragic news. From Ed Harris and Gary Sinise working tirelessly to find ways to bring them home, to the wives and families of these men and how they deal with the trauma and the press hounding them for reactions, to even stock footage of Walter Cronkite add to the love and affection of this moment in time.

And while the effects of "Apollo 13" are still impressive to this day, and the performances from Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon and Bill Paxton are effective when they need to be, they're ultimately crammed into a small metal box and given orders on how to survive freezing to death and living on the very little oxygen they have left from their crew back on Earth. If this film was just from the perspective of the three men trapped in the lunar capsule, with no interactions from the men back in Houston, I don't think "Apollo 13" would be nearly as effective.

Overall, "Apollo 13" is a loving time capsule to a near tragic event that turned into a triumph of science, quick thinking, and ingenuity. Ron Howard went to amazing lengths to make sure every aspect of the film was technically and physically accurate to how it actually happened, and it really shows, even down to the small details in the set design. There is a lot to respect about this movie, and it deserves every bit of praise it gets.

Final Grade: A-

Number 11 - "Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla II" (1993)

Full disclaimer on "Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla II" - This is my ultimate guilty pleasure Godzilla movie. This isn't a particularly well-made Godzilla film, and is more-or-less just a dumb popcorn flick that exemplifies how repetitive the Heisei series could be. But goddamn, I love this movie!

Honestly, there's a lot to love about it. The soundtrack by Akira Ifukube is one of the best he did since the 1960s Godzilla films. Every monster scene feels unique and carries enough weight that it makes every fight feel substantial, not to mention every monster gets a good chance to shine. The plot, while simple, does its job at creating one of the better "Man vs. Godzilla" films of the Heisei series. But what really gets me with "Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla II" is its ending, and we will get to that later.

I should note this isn't a direct sequel to 1974's "Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla" (though that film did have a direct sequel that I'll talk about later). This film takes place in the middle of the Heisei series, right after "Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle for Earth" but before "Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla." There aren't many films out there that have the number two in the title but are not sequels, and this is one of them.

The film begins with the creation of the G-Force, the worldwide organization tasked with tracking and defeated Godzilla once and for all. The first weapon they build to fight Godzilla is a machine called Garuda, a large jet-like object with two maser cannons on it, but it was put on the backburner after G-Force considered it too weak. Their next big discovery came when they explored the bottom of the sea and found the wreckage from Mecha-King Ghidorah after its fight with Godzilla at the end of "Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah."

The G-Force salvaged what they could from Mecha-King Ghidorah and started reverse-engineering its armor and technology, which is pretty big considering it's made up of tech from the 23rd century. The G-Force then set out to use this knowledge and power to create their next big project - MechaGodzilla.

The film spends the next little while talking about how badass MechaGodzilla is, describing how they basically took the weapons the Heisei series has built up to this point and put it in MechaGodzilla. It has Mecha-King Ghidorah's armor and schematics, missiles that can paralyze Godzilla like the first Super-X did in "Return of Godzilla," and it even has an upgraded version of the Super-X2's fire mirror, able to absorb Godzilla's atomic ray to power its ultimate weapon, the Plasma Grenade.

Now the only thing missing for this operation are MechaGodzilla's pilots. The G-Force basically makes an entire school to teach trainees the best way to fight Godzilla, including lessons on the amount of time between his dorsal spines lighting up and his atomic ray being unleashed. All of this shows just how far Japan has come in their fight against Godzilla and the knowledge they're accumulated on him.

My only complaint is that the characters they show that will end up being the pilots are pretty big douchebags. The commander is a stickler for the rules and seems to go out of his way to terrorize other people. His second-in-command is an American woman, who wastes no time demonstrating her martial arts abilities (something that I'm sure will come in very handy against the 100-meter tall fire-breathing lizard). And then there's our main character Aoki (Masahiro Takashima), a bumbling idiot who is a bit too obsessed with Pteranodons and Pterodactyls, too the point that it gets in the way of his job of being Garuda's mechanic and working as a MechaGodzilla pilot.

While this is going on, a group of research scientists head to a remote island in the Bering Sea. On a rocky cliff side they find two large eggs, one that looks like it was opened from the inside and another unopened and supposedly intact. As they examine the unopened egg and strap it into their helicopter to return to Japan, the egg starts glowing red and the wind on the island starts to pick up.

The scientists quickly find out the cause of the wind - Rodan.

Like most of the other monster scenes in this movie, I adore Rodan's introduction here, starting out on a long shot of the set where you can barely see Rodan in the background until he finally arrives on a large rock pillar overlooking the scientists' camp. The whole time the scene remains silent, except for the sound of Rodan's wings. But once Rodan gets on his perch, his theme music starts playing very slowly, just enough to send shivers down my spine every time. As soon as he lets out his roar and unleashes his attack, then his theme song goes to work, Ifukube providing the perfect match to Rodan's speed and strength.

I would also like to take a moment to talk about Rodan in general. To be honest, I was never a big fan of Rodan. I really liked his design with the red/brown color scheme and spikes on the chest of a giant pterodactyl, but Rodan's character in the Godzilla films always made him seem like a coward. In "Destory All Monsters," after getting blasted with one of King Ghidorah's gravity beams, he flies away. Rodan is the only monster to retreat during that battle, which really painted my picture of Rodan as a scaredy-cat. He was alright in "Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster" but seemed like the odd-one out compared to Godzilla and Mothra. Same with his other appearance in the Showa series, "Invasion of Astro-Monster." I didn't hate Rodan's appearances in the Showa series, but it really came across like the filmmakers didn't know what to do with him.

But this version of Rodan? He's swift, pretty cunning for a giant monster, and isn't afraid to take on any threat despite how powerful they might be. I'm not afraid to admit this is my favorite incarnation of Rodan.

There's just one little problem with this scene, as well as with the rest of the film - in the English dub, they call him "Radon" instead of Rodan. I know that's his Japanese name, but this isn't the Japanese version of the film. He has an English name, so call him by that name!

So just as things are looking bad for the scientists, since Rodan has forced them to a precipice over the ocean, the ocean lights up and a familiar blast of blue energy shoots out of the ocean towards Rodan. The scientists point out the obvious and Godzilla rises out of the ocean to do battle with Rodan.

This battle is spectacular. The shot that convinced me of this is later on that reveals how much smaller Rodan is than Godzilla, where the mutated pterodactyl looks like he's about a fifth of Godzilla's size. And yet Rodan dominates most of this fight by finding different ways to combat Godzilla. He attacks him from behind, he slashes Godzilla's ankles and supersonic speeds and even forces him into a giant pile of rocks. This Rodan is one of the few Heisei monsters that doesn't have any energy attacks, so it's amazing to see a fight where the monster has been far more creative with their attacks. Even Godzilla doesn't use his atomic ray that much, mostly just near the end of the fight, though not before downing Rodan and stomping Rodan until he's as flat as a pancake.

During the battle, the scientists escape in their helicopter with the large egg and Godzilla is victorious, knocking Rodan into a cliff side with his atomic breath, though oddly enough Godzilla seems to chase after the helicopter.

I should also note that all this happens within the first fifteen minutes of the movie. "Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla II" wastes no time getting straight to the reason we're watching this movie.

The scientists take the egg back to their institute in Kyoto to study it, believing that it is a pteranodon egg, since it came from the same nest as Rodan's egg. After hearing about it on the news, Aoki immediately ditches all of his responsibilities at G-Force and drives to Kyoto to see a real pteranodon egg, much to the irritation of the lead researcher Azusa (Ryoko Sano) and the audience. It doesn't get any easier when he starts hitting on her.

Aoki gets his hands on a plant-like sample that came from the egg and who should come across Aoki and the sample but our dear friend Miki Saegusa. She says that she picks up strange vibes from the sample and takes it to the "psychic institute" so that about a dozen kids can put their hands around it and see if they can feel anything. Sure Miki, you keep telling yourself that you can talk to plants. First "Godzilla vs. Biollante" and now this.

Anyway, the institute can make a recording of what the kids picked up from the plant sample and play for the scientists to hear, noting that it sounds like a very odd piece of music. But apparently they put this music at its maximum volume because the egg hears the music and starts hatching. But instead of a baby pteranodon, a baby Godzilla comes out instead.

While the scientists are initially scared about a baby Godzilla inside their lab, they quickly learn it is a friendly plant-eating dinosaur that thinks Azusa is his mother, since she was the first person he saw. But just as everyone is celebrating this new creature, Miki senses that Godzilla has made landfall in Japan and is rampaging throughout the country.

This immediately gets the attention of the G-Force as they scramble to launch MechaGodzilla. The Captain waits for every pilot to show up, noting that Aoki is missing, since he's still in Kyoto goofing off. They get a new back-up pilot and this leads to about a five-minute launching sequence of MechaGodzilla. Yeah, good hustle out there guys, Godzilla's probably destroyed two major cities at this point.

And so we come to our first confrontation between Godzilla and MechaGodzilla. I have to admit that they suit acting for Godzilla and the props they use to show Godzilla's facial expressions is wonderful here, since we get a full range of emotions from Godzilla reacting to a monster that looks exactly like him, from confusion to rage to dominating.

The fight itself is exactly the kind of stuff I love from a battle between these two - MechaGodzilla easily overpowering Godzilla with his vast range of beams and weapons and Godzilla not being able to do much in response. My favorite part is when Godzilla finally uses his atomic ray, is shocked to see it did nothing to MechaGodzilla and then gets blasted with the Plasma Grenade, going down in just one shot.

Unfortunately, the pilots get a little bit cocky and forget about Godzilla's nuclear pulse, which sends their final attack of shocking Godzilla with an anchor right back at them and shutting down MechaGodzilla. Godzilla gives MechaGodzilla one last big body slam for good measure and walks away to continue his rampage.

After a pointless fight between Godzilla and military, we learn why Godzilla suddenly showed up now - he's on his way to Kyoto to get the baby Godzilla. The scientist hide the baby in the basement of their building but Godzilla just starts tearing the building down. In an attempt to calm the baby down, he apparently tells Godzilla through their telepathic link to leave him alone...which Godzilla does so reluctantly. Again, I have to applaud the suit acting here because it really does come across like Godzilla doesn't want to leave the baby here, especially after everything he went through to get here, and is sad to leave the only other member of his race with these people.

After that, there's a bit of down time where a few key things happen. Aoki is fired from the G-Force but is given a second chance when he suggests combining Garuda with MechaGodzilla to form a more powerful machine. The G-Force takes in Azusa and the baby Godzilla so they can study its biology in the hopes to learn more about Godzilla. And finally, after a chorus of little children sing the same song that woke up the baby Godzilla from its egg, Rodan apparently hears the song and is not only revitalized but is given a power-up, turning from Rodan to Fire Rodan and makes his way towards Japan.

The G-Force studies the baby Godzilla and learns that it has a large cluster of nerves at the base of its tail, acting almost like a second brain. They assume that Godzilla must have this as well and create a new weapon to take advantage of this - The G-Crusher. Once they destroy that nerve cluster, Godzilla will not even be able to stand up. They also plan to use the baby Godzilla to lure Godzilla into the open and conduct their next attack on a deserted island.

Of course, Miki makes a complaint against this plan, saying that it is too horrible to use on Godzilla. This leads to the funniest part of the movie when the leaders of the G-Force say that they're not only moving forward with the G-Crusher plan, but they want Miki to be the one to pull the trigger. Her psychic powers will make finding the second brain much easier and she is ordered to go onboard MechaGodzilla the next time Godzilla emerges.

Any movie where someone with authority gives Miki Saegusa a smack down and tells her what to do is great in my book.

But just as the helicopter takes the baby Godzilla and Azusa to the island, it is attacked by Fire Rodan. The chopper is destroyed and Rodan takes the container with the baby and Azusa away. This leads to Fire Rodan's rampage through a major city (even stopping by Japan's Disneyland for a moment), and it is a nice attack, especially with Ifukube's heart-pounding music and the massive shadows Rodan casts over the city.

The scientists speculate that since the baby Godzilla and Rodan came from the same nest, that they have a deep connection to each other. Anytime the baby Godzilla's eyes glow red, either Godzilla or Rodan have responded by coming to the baby's rescue. They're not attacking just for the sake of attacking, but to protect the baby Godzilla.

The G-Force responds to this by sending out MechaGodzilla and Garuda to combat Fire Rodan, figuring that Godzilla will probably be here soon as well. While the G-Force assigns an experienced pilot to Garuda, Aoki decides to be a jackass and hijacks piloting duties for Garuda because "it was his idea." Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.

As the day turns to night, Rodan lands in a metropolitan area and starts to open the crate holding Azusa and the baby just as MechaGodzilla and Garuda show up. We learn that Rodan's transformation granted him an energy-based attack, which I don't have a problem with since Rodan still prefers to attack his enemies head-on. The only reason they gave him a beam is so MechaGodzilla could absorb it to power the Plasma Grenade.

This leads to a brief aerial fight between Fire Rodan and Garuda, which ends after Rodan rams Garuda and causes it to crash. After that we get a pretty damn good battle between Rodan and MechaGodzilla that is one of the more brutal Heisei fights. Like his earlier fight with Godzilla, Rodan puts up one hell of a fight, and it works for a while since MechaGodzilla was designed to fight Godzilla and not him. Rodan is able to damage some of MechaGodzilla's systems with his beak and direct attacks, including knocking out his eye lasers, and actually takes several blasts from the Plasma Grenade before getting a giant hole blasted in his chest.

Of course, just as soon as Fire Rodan is defeated, Godzilla shows up to continue the fight. Suddenly, the mood takes a drastic change as the pilots are convinced that this will be the battle where humans finally overcome Godzilla. The problem is that MechaGodzilla is weakened due to their fight with Rodan and Garuda is out of commission.

This leads to a fight that pretty much exemplifies the Heisei series, as Godzilla and MechaGodzilla engage in a beam war, where their energy weapons clash in mid-air and cause an explosion of sparks that knocks them both to the ground. The fight does get better once MechaGodzilla is incapacitated and Godzilla starts throwing him around like a rag doll.

Aoki is finally able to get Garuda running again and launches it to fight Godzilla. After a brief struggle where Godzilla gets knocked down, that gives them enough time to link up the two machines to form their ultimate weapon, Super MechaGodzilla, with Garuda acting as a jet-pack for the already stacked robot.

We get another beat down from Super MechaGodzilla, unleashing all of their combine weapons until Godzilla is down long enough for Miki to locate Godzilla's second brain. While she hesitates, she does target the brain and they unleash the G-Crusher, destroying Godzilla's nerve cluster and paralyzing him. After a few more blasts of Super MechaGodzilla's attacks, they succeed and kill Godzilla.

I'm not kidding. According to reports from Toho about this scene and a shot later that shows a motionless Godzilla, the G-Force is successful in killing Godzilla here. It's not too often you see humans overcoming Godzilla through sheer force and firepower but this is a pleasant change of pace.

But of course, you cannot finish off Godzilla like this. Which leads us to the best part of the movie, as the baby Godzilla can sense that Godzilla is in trouble and breaks through the container and roars as loud as he can. This roar doesn't do anything for Godzilla, but it does awaken Rodan once again. With the little energy he has left, he gets up to help out in the fight. Super MechaGodzilla sees that Rodan is still alive and blasts him, forcing Rodan to land on top of the dead Godzilla.

With no other options left to them, Rodan sacrifices his life energy and transfers it into Godzilla. This sequence gets me every time. Maybe it's because of Ifukube's wonderfully emotional music, or maybe it's the way Rodan slowly dies, his body glowing like the last few ashes in a fire. But the main reason is that it serves as a perfect cap to Rodan's character in this film, giving up everything to save the only other life he cared about.

Rodan's energy revives Godzilla's second brain and causes a massive storm of radiation, as Godzilla rises back to his feet and roars in triumph. The Godzilla theme music starts up and we see that the storm has caused MechaGodzilla's armor to start melting. Then Godzilla shows off his newest weapon after gaining Rodan's energy, the Hyper-Spiral Beam. Anything this beam touches is engulfed in massive flames and explosions.

While this maybe an incredibly stupid scene, I love every second of it. The way Godzilla is brought back to life, the heroic sacrifice from Rodan, the music, and the effects work on Godzilla's beam are all wonderful here. When I think of how awesome and badass Godzilla can be, this finale is one of the first scenes that comes to mind.

With Super MechaGodzilla being weakened by the storm and his new power boost, Godzilla is successful in destroying the robot just as the pilots escape. Godzilla finally makes it to the baby Godzilla, who is at first reluctant to go with Godzilla, but after hearing more of the psychic kids singing is convinced to leave the humans and go be with one of his kind. Godzilla and the baby head back out into the ocean and we get some parting words from our heroes about the constant fight for survival or some nonsense.

"Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla II" knows exactly what it wants to be - a very dumb popcorn action flick. It gives the audience exactly what it came for, not wasting any time to jump right into the action sequences and building the story around those scenes. The fights are some of the best of the entire Heisei series and the music provides some great emotional punches to accompany the action throughout.

It should also be pointed out that this is one of the few Godzilla films where it doesn't feel like there's one true villain. Godzilla and Rodan do everything in this film out of protecting the baby Godzilla, while the G-Force is doing their job by protecting the world from the dangerous giant monsters. While some of the characters are douchebags or idiots, they do make it clear their mission is also protection. In the end, everyone in this film is just trying to save their species.

The story is nothing special and feels dumbed down on purpose to make people crave the action scenes even more. And while there are a plethora of stupid and eye-rolling moments, I loved just about every one of them, especially those involving Godzilla and Rodan. It is filled to the brim with Heisei clichés, including beam wars, and sometimes laughable special effects, but they don't bother me in this movie.

I have so much fun with "Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla II" every time I watch it. As a kid, this was my favorite Godzilla film. The ending is mostly the reason for this, with Rodan's sacrifice and Godzilla's triumphant return feeling so grand and badass. But I can admit this still isn't a great movie, which is why it is my guilty pleasure Godzilla movie.

Number 21 - "Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah" (1991)

 
This is a Godzilla movie that I'm always on the fence about - On the one hand, it might just be the most stupid, ludicrous, poorly written mess in the entire Godzilla series. Yet, when this movie is good, it is the best of the entire Heisei series. The problem is that those scenes are harder to come by than a good scene with Miki Saegusa.

"Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah" is the third entry in the Heisei series and almost acts as a soft reboot to the series. In the previous two entries, Godzilla had been scaled to roughly 80 meters tall, but Toho realized that this was just too short and wanted to make Godzilla even bigger, scaling him up to 100 meters. This also marked the beginning of Toho reinventing other classic kaijus outside of Godzilla, with the first being his most classic enemy, King Ghidorah, the three-headed golden dragon.

Toho took this opportunity to change Godzilla's size once again and also used it to show Godzilla's origin. I'm not exactly sure who was asking to see what Godzilla was like before he was hit by an atomic bomb, but here it is, for all of its good and bad points.

The film begins with a UFO circling around Japan. The Japanese government tracks its strange path and learns that it passed right over the location of Godzilla, resting deep in the ocean. Eventually, the UFO lands in a field and the military is quick to surround it. But much to everyone's surprise, three humans emerge from the UFO and wish to talk to the Japanese prime minister.

The three tell the government about themselves - they're actually from the future, the 23rd century to be exact, and the UFO is their time machine. They explain that, in the 23rd century, most of the world has been utterly destroyed by Godzilla, who will only grow stronger with time as he absorbs more nuclear radiation. They have come back in time to prevent Godzilla from ever being created and thus ensuring humanity won't be destroyed by Godzilla.

We learn earlier in the film that a Japanese platoon was stranded on a seemingly deserted island called Lagos, surrounded by American battleships near the end of World War II. They had just about given up hope, when suddenly they were saved by a dinosaur, who killed all the American ground troops before retreating due to injuries. After hearing reports about the event from some of the surviving Japanese troop members, some reporters are able to piece together that this dinosaur was still on Lagos island when an atomic bomb was dropped on a nearby island and the resulting radiation mutated the dinosaur into Godzilla.

The Futurians, as those three from the UFO are called, plan on going back to 1945 and move the dinosaur away from Lagos island so that it doesn't get hit with radiation. No dinosaur on Lagos, no Godzilla.

But our first plot hole reveals itself at this point, and it's a pretty big one - If the Futurians had planned all along to go back to 1945 and erase Godzilla from history, then why did they stop in 1991 first? Why tell the Japanese government about their plans at this point when their only intention was to get rid of Godzilla before he was born? Why not just go straight from the 23rd century to 1945? It's not like the Futurians needed anything in 1991 that they couldn't get any where else.

They try to write it off like the Futurians needed to stop in 1991 by bringing along three passengers from the modern day, a novel writer who would eventually write about Godzilla's extensive history, a dinosaur expert, and our dear friend Miki Seagusa, because...they had to find a way to work her into the movie. The problem with this is these three are just passengers. They don't do anything while on Lagos in 1945 other than watch this dinosaur stomp on some American soldiers and then make some Gamera roars when it gets shot by the battleships (I'm not kidding, this pre-Godzilla has Gamera's roars). They serve no purpose other than to look at WW2 in awe.

Anyway, the Futurians succeed in their plan, as they remove Godzilla from the island and return to the present to learn Godzilla no longer exists. Except that, as far as we can tell, very little has changed about the world they live in. You'd think something like Godzilla, the menace of Japan for over 30 years, being erased from history would change things. Maybe Japan would have picked a different prime minister, one who might be more focused on the Cold War or industrial development instead of handling Godzilla. But nope, everything' is the same except Godzilla is gone. Oddly enough, everyone still knows exactly who Godzilla is and what he did.

I'm starting to think this form of time travel is stupid.

But the moment everyone returns to the present, the Futurians show their true colors. When they departed Lagos island, one of them dropped off three tiny future animals known as Dorats, empathic creatures that can be controlled by a computer. As it turns out, they wanted the Dorats to be hit by the atomic bomb instead of the dinosaur, which results in an entirely new monster being created, one that they can control, King Ghidorah.

So I have a question - The film implies that King Ghidorah is pretty useless unless someone is controlling him with a computer, which the Futurians don't start using until 1991. So does that mean King Ghidorah was just sitting on Lagos island from 1954 until 1991 doing nothing? And no one ever noticed the giant three-headed golden dragon just sitting on Lagos until the Futurians activated him?

In any case, the Futurians unleash King Ghidorah on Japan, saying that they will destroy all of Japan except for Tokyo and then rebuild it as they see fit. The military is about as effective at stopping King Ghidorah as they were with fighting Godzilla, except now their enemy can fly. And with Godzilla being erased from history, there is nothing on Earth that can defeat King Ghidorah.

But one of the Futurians, a Japanese woman named Emmy (Anna Nakagawa), turns on the other two when they start destroying her homeland. She tells the novel writer the truth - Japan in the 23rd century basically owns the world. Every major technological advancement came from Japan, causing the country to become the major metropolis of the world. Japan also outright buys entire continents, including Australia and Africa, and uses their advanced technology to defeat Godzilla. There is no war, no pollution and nothing nuclear-powered.

Which means the Futurians are just a bunch of rogue thieves who got their hands on a time machine and want to change history so that Japan isn't the powerhouse of the world...even though the future sounds pretty sweet from Emmy's description. She never tells us why the Futurians were so upset with the 23rd century and why they wanted to change it, so let us just chalk that up to another plot hole.

With Emmy's help, our characters try to find a solution to stop King Ghidorah and the Futurians, with their best plan being to find the dinosaur that becomes Godzilla and hit him with lots of radiation to create a new Godzilla.

This leads to a complicated series of events involving a private industrial company buying their own nuclear submarine that ignores international waters and orders and then stumbles across Godzilla in the Bering Sea. Godzilla attacks and destroys the submarine and absorbs all of its radiation, growing even larger and more violent than before.

Now that the plot recap is out of the way, I can finally say that this story is stupid. Granted, stories about time travel are beyond complicated, but if films like "Back to the Future" can make it seem plausible and tell it in a way that anyone can understand, then I'd expect something a little less absurd from this movie. It can sometimes be funny with how crazy and nonsensical things can get at times, especially when Terminator-like robots start chasing after Emmy just to bring her back to the time machine. Still, it took the film over an hour and 20 minutes for Godzilla to finally show up so that could also be a pacing problem.

Once Godzilla shows back up in Japan, the Futurians immediately send in King Ghidorah to kill him, resulting in our first fight between the two.

This is where the film starts getting good, if not great. These fight scenes are some of the best in the entire Heisei series, with the opening fight between Godzilla and King Ghidorah showcasing some great background and setting effects. Their fight takes place on a large grassy field and every once of the monsters' blasts tears up the field and often shows the type of smoke you'd see with a forest fire. Even though the two monsters mostly use beams throughout their fight, it shows that their attacks do carry immense weight and damage, especially when you see little amounts of damage to King Ghidorah's wings.

The problem with this opening fight though is the pacing and the need to cram in as many human scenes in the middle of the fight. The scenes with Godzilla and King Ghidorah are always cut short when we cut back over to Emmy and friends infiltrating the time machine to blow up the computer controlling KIng Ghidorah. We hardly ever get a moment to just enjoy the fight on its own when there's so many other things going on. It turns what would be an amazing five-or-six minute fight, including Godzilla lifting up King Ghidorah by his tails and slamming him to the ground, into a 15-minute sequence. Lame.

Eventually, they are successful in destroying the computer that controls King Ghidorah and Godzilla destroys the time machine with the two evil Futurians inside before they can return to their own time. King Ghidorah tries to escape but Godzilla blasts off one of his heads and a giant hole in his wing, causing King Ghidorah to fall into the ocean. But the Japanese quickly realize that, because of this new more evil Godzilla, they may have created a far more dangerous and more powerful monster than King Ghidorah.

One thing that annoys the crap out of me about "Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah" is that the film insists that Godzilla is a good monster who would never hurt Japan. They get this from the dinosaur on Lagos only attacking the American forces and not the Japanese, implying that Godzilla has a soft spot for the Japanese. Except that this is the same Godzilla that already ravaged Japan in the previous two movies. Godzilla's behavior is hardly any different in this movie from those other two, so they have no reason to act surprised when he attacks Japan after King Ghidorah is gone. If this were the Godzilla from the 1970s when he was a hero to Japan, then I could buy that, but this particular Godzilla has always been portrayed as evil.

Emmy and her friends think of a new plan to deal with Godzilla, coming to the conclusion that King Ghidorah probably isn't dead at the bottom of the ocean and could be repaired to fight Godzilla again. Emmy returns to the 23rd century to use their technology to rebuild King Ghidorah, but not without admitting her feelings for the novel writer.

In the present, Godzilla arrives in Tokyo and starts to destroy the city. In the middle of his rampage, he spots one of the soldiers he saved back on Lagos and actually seems to recognize him...before blasting him with an atomic ray.

But in the middle of Godzilla's attack, we get the crowning moment of the movie - In an explosion of electricity and technology, King Ghidorah emerges out of no where, with new metal wings and a metal third head, bringing forth the new monster Mecha-King Ghidorah. Set to Akira Ifukube's awesome King Ghidorah theme, Emmy arrives piloting the rejuvenated monster to do battle with Godzilla in the heart of downtown Tokyo.

This is one of the best monster fights in the entire Godzilla series. The effects are always impressive and carry the weight of two huge monsters fighting in the middle of a metropolis, especially when the massive buildings around them start collapsing in on them. Akira Ifukube's music is at its full strength here, providing an even greater impact to the destruction and battle. The pacing is perfect, with nothing to interrupt the fight this time and every action feeling genuine. There is never a boring moment in this fight also, with each one gaining the upper hand at one point or another, especially when Emmy starts using restraints on Godzilla.

For all the problems I have with this movie, the ending fight between Godzilla and Mecha-King Ghidorah makes it all worth it.

In the end, Emmy forces Godzilla back into the ocean, but at the cost of Mecha-King Ghidorah. As she prepares to head back to the 23rd century again, we learn one last thing about her - Emmy is actually related to the novel writer...the writer that she seemed to have a crush on. I guess this film ran out of things to say or do, so it chose to end on the thought of incest!

While "Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah" has more than its share of problem, I cannot bring myself to say I hate it or that it is a bad movie. There are genuinely good scenes here, in particular anytime Godzilla and King Ghidorah fight. While it takes forever to get to those scenes, and even then the film suffers from pacing problems, the effects and music really shine through. The story can sometimes be enjoyable bad, if only for the crazy time travel elements and the stupid plot holes. Watch this one with some beer and some good friends and you'll have a great time.